Complacent Weight

I’m not sure if it is due to the waves of stress and complex schedule. I am not sure if it is due to my age or just the amount of drastic life changes I have undergone over the past two years.

Nevertheless, I have become complacent.

A Year ago, I participated in a walk to health program as part of the local extension office. During that short time, I lost just over 7 lbs. Not bad for a mom of three (two on earth, one in Heaven).

I weighed myself this morning, and looked at a number I have never seen in my life. I am, today, nearly 50 lbs overweight.

But.. how?

The Answer – complacency. I stopped thinking about what I was eating or not eating. I stopped caring how little I exercised. I stopped writing about my struggle online or talking about it in person. I stopped caring.

That isn’t entirely true. I did care. I hate being overweight. I hate the way gaining weight makes me feel more so than the way it makes me look. I hate that I tend to look “pregnant” when I gain weight, which brings that painful question about whether or not I am.

Mostly, the reason I gained it is purely not being responsible.

Bigger issue

Being overweight is a serious enough issue but when add to that my damaged back & other health issues, weight is a very dangerous thing for me.

I know I need to change. I find it so much harder than I did a year ago. A Year isn’t a very long time, really, but I pinpointed three reasons that it is harder today than last summer:

  • Schedule: My Schedule during the time I lost my weight was only for a 36 hour work week. Today, I work 40 hours at my job.
  • Support: When I was doing my walking program, I had three-four friends who encouraged me & held me accountable. Today, I do not have that support group in place.
  • STUFF: I am NOTORIOUS for taking on projects so much bigger than I am & trying to juggle a billion things all at once.

Addressing The Issue 

I need to lose some of this weight. I will never again be the size 10 girl I was “back in the day” This body has carried 3 children, been through two serious car accidents, & isn’t as young as it use to be. I do want to be a healthier weight & living a healthier lifestyle. To do that, I need to:

  • Make time: To Exercise. To eat healthier. To make friends & build a new support group.
  • Make Changes: To my activity levels, to my sleep schedule & overall schedule.
  • Make my Priorities Priority. I can write & saw all day long that certain things are first in my life such as my family or church or health, but until I act in a way that shows that those things are first in my life – I’m just hot air.

So, let’s go get it. Again. This is my second time in a short span that I have said “I’m going on a diet”. But this time – I am committing to write daily. Even when I don’t feel like it. Even when my thoughts are of a big banana split & a fried bologna sandwich. Let’s go get it. My first goal- lose 5 lbs.