Condemnation

Sitting at my station today, a familiar face saunters in and asks how I am. I exchange the courteous ‘fine’. Then the familiar person asks, “So where are you going to church now,” to which I reply the name of the city. “Who is Your Pastor,” he then asks. I give reply. For a nanosecond, a pause.

“Does he know?”

You see, I am but three years on the other side of divorce. I wish now that it weren’t so. I would give my life to go back and undo things. I can’t, though. 

The question, “Does He know,” asks if my Pastor and my church know my past sins. Yes. They do. 

Is this how church  is suppose to work? Are we to chase down people with the filth of their past so that we can ask, “Do they know”. 

“Therefore there is now
no condemnation for those
who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1, NASB)

My wrongs are my wrongs, as are my burning regrets. So are the wrongs of so many that sit outside the church, longing to be loved. Maybe for them it was a divorce, an angry moment, a job loss or bankruptcy. Do we beat them with their past, or do we lead them to the one who can redeem their past? 

Church, let’s stop chasing people down with all their wrongs and show them instead the love of The ONE who can make all things new (Revelations 21:5). 

 

SimplySpokn Sunday: The Truth & All Its Ugly

I have a problem with The Truth. I do believe Truth & I are at odds with one another.

Perhaps out of a desire to be wanted, I developed the propensity to lie very young. I lied often. It became routine, and it didn’t take all to long for the habit to embroider itself into what I was. It began to cause me trouble during my freshman year of High School. My lies to a boy brought bruises. Even a blackened eye wasn’t enough to make me stop. The lies cultivated more lies, snowballing into a lifestyle of deceit. I knew in my heart that it was wrong & that I was hurting people, yet I didn’t stop. In time, the sin of these lies began to reap consequences. It separated me from my family, jobs, friends, my spouse & God.

“The one who says, “I have come to know Him,”
and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him;
but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected.
By this we know that we are in Him.” (1 John 2:4-5)

Ouch. 

All the times I lied & thought everything was fine was only a lie to myself. 

The last 7 months (since just after the beginning of 2014), I have been emotionally trying to deal with somethings that are painful. The Truth is one of those. 

The ebony glop of lies covers everything. The immense expanse of all that the lies cover is overwhelming. Where & how do I overcome it, clean it, and eradicate it? 

One Truth After Another

I must consciously decide to live one Truth after Another. My words must be true. My actions must be true. No lies to shield my ego when I mess up. No lies to paint me in a better light.  Slowly, through truth seeking I will be set free.

“and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32)

 

SimplySpokn Sunday: Redeem to The Uttermost

(Somehow, my scheduled post for Yesterday, Sunday, did not publish. I suppose that it was a God thing, as I have something different that I wish to write about)

Caked in eight long years of dust and mold was a small cardboard box. It was shoved in the corner of what once was the livingroom of my Grandparents house.

I didn’t know what I might find as I lifted the lid, filling my lungs with the brash burning black mold that was caked on top. Out of crumbled, yellow newsprint peered bits of ceramic. Carefully, I put the lid back on and maneuvered the box out the back door.

Once home, I unwrapped each ceramic whatnot. Carefully, I emerged each dusty lovely thing into the lukewarm foam in my kitchen sink.

Dusty Little Things, Aren’t We

Caked in over 20 years of lies and neglect was a small woman. I was shoved in the quiet corner of a small church building in Kentucky.

He dipped my wounded heart in the simple love of acceptance.

Back in the Corner (Again?)

A Pair of Lovely Ceramic Frogs and a copperheaded girl with a paintbrush adorn my shelf, two of the treasures that I rescued out of my Grandparents’ home before the roof collapsed. I dust them regularly, and proudly tell people of their rescue when I am asked about them.

Unless for the purpose of painting or moving (neither of which I hope to be doing anytime soon), the ceramic lovies will not be going back into a box & certainly not to be caked once again in mold & dust. 

Guilt & Shame bribed me back into the corner of church again. Guilt sprinkled me with the things I should have been doing while Shame doused me in reminders of all the wrong I have done. 

But Why? Why must I go back in the corner?Just as I rescued the ceramic whatnots from my Grandparents’ home three years ago, Christ rescued me. Except, He went through much more and did much more.

“….. and I will deliver you from their bondage. I will also redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments.” (Exodus 6: 6, NASB) I have been in slavery to Sin, and mostly of my own choosing. My Grandparents’ whatnots did not choose to be forsaken and forgotten for five years in the think, black mold of their decaying home. Me, though, Oh I fully good & well chose my paths. But Christ delivered me out. Not just for a one time display or for giggles. HE bought me back to use me.

Me. The chipped, dirty one. Yes, Me. And you. 

 

 

Break The Bottle: Christening a New Beginning

Haphazardly, I have been “Blogging”. I began with all intents to blog at least three times (or more) weekly. Lack of organization and commitment has instead lead this to be a casual endeavor with no clear course.

Let’s Break the Bottle. The circumstances in my life have bubbled to an interesting Appex. My heart is craving true, sincere change and there are some chapters in my life that I am at last prepared to close. 

     My Plan for the next Six months for my blog: 

  •      Posts 3 times a week. Tuesdays will become MyTown Tuesdays, allowing me a venue to share my photography and love for my local area. Wednesdays will become Workspace Wednesdays, where I will share what projects I am working on. The Projects may be DIY Pocket Scrapbooking Cards or a creative attempt at Home Decor. Sundays will be SimplySpokn Sundays, where I will share glimpses of where God & I are in this journey called my life. 
  • Launching an Instagram Account for This Blog Only. So far, I have been using instagram to share pictures both professionally & Personal. I have decided to split the two. I will have one Instagram account for myself (which I will be carefully weeding down over the next week). I have created a separate account for this blog: @simplyspokn. Feel Free to follow, if you wish.

    Anchors Up. Here’s to new Beginnings