This is part 3 of 4 about things I have learned from my love relationships
We met October 2014, and started dating January 2015. We would get engaged in April 2016, I would break off the engagement December 2016 and the relationship would terminate early 2017.
Lesson 1: Christ must be first & central
Why did I not learn this the first time around? Grr.
Too often in my dating relationship with him, I would choose him over being in God’s Word or over church attendance. Though time with our significant other is important, time with Christ must be 1st priority.
Lesson 2: Dating does not equal married
It’s not an easy confession, but he and I lived together for just over a year. For over a year, I did laundry and cooked for a man I wasn’t married to. I lived as his wife, without the commitment.
Living together outside of marriage not only encourages sexual misconduct, but creates the disappointment of having no commitment. Without a marriage, there was little legally I could do to recoup from the financial blow of the breakup. Without a marriage, there was no legal action to serve as severege of the relationship.
Lesson 3: Equal efforts
If a relationship is strongly one sided, there’s your red flag.
In my relationship with him, I was the one who pursued him. I was the one who tried to schedule special dates. I was the one who tried to get us back into church as a couple, not just me going by myself.
Ladies, if you are constantly doing for him but he won’t do anything for you…run.
Men, if the lady in your life will not go to church with you or encourages you to miss often… run.
Lesson 4: Know their fruits
I *thought* He was a good, Christian man. What I failed to do was to test his fruits.
Matthew 7:17 NKJV — “Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
He could talk the talk of being a Christian, but he certainly did not live a life that reflected him being an actual Christ follower.
Remember this: even Satan believes in God, and knows scripture. Be sure that the Christian guy/gal you are chasing isn’t just the devil in disguise.
Lesson 5: KNOW your partner
I am going to sound somewhat judgemental at first, but please hear me out.
Find out about your partner, early. Know their history.
I will be the first to say that YES, GOD can and does certainly change people. But if there is a continuous record of the person doing the same things over and over and over again without any signs of remorse, they may not have had their true experience with GOD yet.
I wish I had known.
I had been dating *j* for nearly a year when I found out that he had quite a rap sheet. It was the very pattern of devious behavior that I could have learned had I asked the right questions early on or if I had just done a simple “hey, has this person been arrested for anything serious” search on the internet.
I also advise to not be afraid to ask the person straight out to discuss their flaws/faults. I know I am not forever condemned or defined by my past, but I do own up to my mistakes.