This was originally written January 2009.
I cleaned out my desk today. I threw away many ink pens that no longer worked and straightened my paper clips and other office supplies. I opened the top left drawer of my desk. There behind a large bag was a stack of journals.
Not two or three, mind you, but a small stack of six.
I hadn’t really forgotten that the journals were there. From time to time, I would pull one of them out, with full intent to begin journaling and writing again. I would place it back into the drawer, with a sigh, and nothing would ever come of it. To me, the journals had become symbols of the writer’s life that I will never have.
You see, onced upon a many year ago, I dreamed and aspired to be a writer. I wrote poetry and short stories daily, filling composition books and 3-ring binders full of writings. I even had a few published in a local paper. Like all fairy-tales though, the pangs of life snatched away my dreams. I stopped writing in 2002, shortly after my parents filed for separation. In the 6 years since, I have not wielded my pen in poetry but a few rare times.
I look at the unused journals in the back of the drawer, and something comes to mind: I stopped writing because I felt I couldn’t be a writer anymore. Simply said, I just quit.
I think about the Words of our LORD in Matthew chapter 4:
and HE said unto them, “Is a candle brought to be put under a bushel, or under a bed? and not to be set upon a candlestick?…………Take heed what ye hear: with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you: and unto you that hear shall more be given.” (Matthew 4: 21, 24)
Have I been sticking my candle under the bed? Have I taken what GOD has given me and been a terrible caretaker of it? It is hard to be a Christian writer when you quit writing altogether.
How about you? Is there something in your life that you have shuffled into the back of the drawer? Has GOD given you a gift that you haven’t touched because of grief, anger, or plain old laziness? Is there something in your life that you have put off doing, but a still small voice inside of you insists on reminding you about it?
As for me, I took one of the journals and placed it in my favorite chair this afternoon. Can’t be a writer for GOD if I don’t get restarted.