Life can be brutal

I *had* a different blog post planned today. But, a loss this week drove me to write this instead. As always, thank you for reading. 

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I remember hearing a saying growing up. You probably heard a version of it, but not likely this:

When it rains, it pours. And when it pours, we drown

Being a Christian makes life no easier than being a non-Christian. And to be frank, sometimes being a Christian can actually make it harder. When it all comes down to bare bones, I am just a human. I have losses, heart ache, bad days, aggravations, and sorrow.

Along comes a Song

Know this: Music is a part of my wiring. Somewhere amongst the DNA GOD wove me together with, are quarter notes and stanzas.

When I hurt most, I find myself baptizing myself in music. Often, the lyrics and melodies GOD will use to grant seeds of peace and hope in my hurt.

So, here I am. Broken again. Feeling utterly overwhelmed by circumstances that I cannot see escape from.

This song has been on repeat for a few days now. May GOD use it to impart seeds of peace and hope in your heart. Click the link below to listen to it on youtube.

Remember Me, JESUS

 

 

 

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SimplySpokn Sunday: I am Out of That Grave!

I have an odd fascination with dates. I can rattle off dates in my life that things occurred simply because those days have hammered significance on my heart.

Though I could easily (and may) reflect of numerous of those days, I want to reflect of two very significant days. Let’s call them anti-grave days.

Sunday’s child is full of Grace

I was born on a Sunday morning at 10:02 a.m. I still love hearing my Daddy & my Gran tell me the story of the miracles and messes that mark that day that I came into this world. I don’t dread the fact that with each I grow older (and greyer). I often find myself taking some time on birthday to thank GOD for the purpose HE had in me being born. I thank GOD for a GOD-fearing, faithful Daddy and two precious prayer warriors as my grandmothers.

February 27, 2011

(I must say, this isn’t easy to share)

I was blessed richly to be raised in a home where my Daddy made sure we were in church nearly every time the doors were open. And being a Daddy’s girl (and I still am), I wanted nothing more in this world than to make my Daddy proud of me.

In July 1989, I attended a small revival at my home church here in eastern Kentucky. I went forward to pray when some other youth went to pray and my Daddy asked me did I think it was time that I got baptized. ‘Sure,’ I thought. Isn’t that what a good Christian girl/kid is suppose to do? So that September at one of the milestone birthdays of my home church, my Daddy submerged me in the baptismal waters.

I attended discipleship training (shout out to all the other old schoolers who grew up in that). I went to youth events. I even read the pink leather Bible that was presented to me at my baptism. One problem.. I was no more saved than the leather on that Bible.

High School came and with it came tremendous tragedy. I endured an event that left me wondering Where was this GOD that supposedly loved me so much?

Years flipped by and in 1997 I would meet a gentleman. In 1998, we would get married. I thought, okay, LORD.. If I just be a perfect Christian wife then I will be fine.

So I tried. And oh, how I tried at first. But all the effort in the Webster dictionary did not make me any thing but broken.

2002. The world, and all I thought to be good about it broken open and broke apart. I kept trying to tell myself that if I only tried harder, if I only read God’s Word more- if I only gave up more of the things that I liked to do or even my supportive friendships, then GOD would be happy with me and I would be happy.

And then, it only got worse. March 12, 2009, I would say my last goodbyes to the only daughter I will carry on this earth. I no longer felt I had any hope of ever finding any kind of happiness.

Yes, it got worse still. The week of Thanksgiving 2010, I was notified that my husband was divorcing me.

I just didn’t understand it. Hadn’t I gone to Bible studies? Hadn’t I given to the church and to the needy? I just didn’t understand.

January of 2011, I found myself living alone in a small incredibly cold apartment. My precious sons who I had prayed with and kissed goodnight every night were now shuffled between their divorced parents. And all I could do was simply cry.

I must be honest for a moment. Those first weeks of being in that subsidy apartment were bleak. I began to lose all desire to even want to live.

Through a childhood acquaintance, I began to hear about a church. And the more I heard, I just could not shake the urge to pay them a visit. So I did.

Through the service held on February 27, 2011, I realized two very hard things: I was not saved but only going through the churchy motions. And two: I had a vast need to be changed by The SAVIOR.

I knelt at that alter so long that Sunday that I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk again. And when I walked back out the doors of the church that Sunday I knew that I knew that I knew that JESUS CHRIST had saved my soul and that HE had set me free of the sin in my heart and life.

And then there is one other date. Today, the 9th Day of July 2017.

Did I wake up knowing today would be such a significant day? Absolutely not.

I had given my word to a friend of mine that I would attend Sunday School and church with her today. I arrived at this very large church, of which I was a member for 2 of the last 3 years, with just a desire to worship GOD and learn in HIS Word.

Worship service began. And two songs in, I heard this song:

Glorious Day

Words don’t suffice for what I began to feel standing near the front of that large sanctuary. It was as if GOD MOST HIGH, my JEHOVAH RAPHA, cupped HIS mighty hands on the sides of my scared face and firmly said “I set you free. Free not only from your own sins, but free from the pain and tears of your past.”

I simply could not sit in my seat when the invitation was given. I threw myself down on the alter and just thanked my HEAVENLY ABBA for the peace that I felt pouring out on my mind and heart.

So What about you? I would love to hear about the day that you were rescued from death and given LIFE everlasting in CHRIST JESUS.